day fifteen

last new year's fireworks

man i need to update this thing more often.

i've been feeling more and more like myself lately. for a while i thought i'd lost me.
does that ever happen to you?

i'm in a weird mood this evening. kind of nostalgic and kind of sad mixed with a little guilt for some reason. listening to death cab to help me feel better.

this mood reminds me of a poem i wrote a few summers back. it's about an almost relationship. i hope that scenario never happens again. it doesn't really have a title:

just one brush of humanity
one character on the machine
in the middle of your day
it was all just a feeling
some stars upon the rooftops
drinks with the fireflies

music music music was all you would say
and i never even noticed
too busy staring at your ears
i heard what i wanted to
read between my lines

through the mist i missed your throat
it's cleared up now but your music is gone
i would hold your hands and cry
but all i have is one touch from you
one character on the machine
lets me know it was all real

we could clear up this mess with some tea
and you wold thank me later
but you're too busy with virtual reality
and i'm stuck in outer space

but someday we'll play some chess
and maybe write a novel
it could be about music
and all of the stars

day fourteen

things i did today:

· watched a bronze pour

· threw some teeny pots on the wheel in ceramics class

· watched my friend's band jam for a while

day thirteen

I love watching people at bars pantomime to each other.

day twelve

dead fowl

i was running late this morning so i took a different way to class. i don't know what kind of bird this was, but it was big, and it somehow died like this. very peculiar.

day eleven

staging being lost in the woods

full day of classes today. haven't done much, but focused mainly on photo work. i did manage to do a study out in the woods. my focus right now is about being lost, so i needed to see what being lost really looks like.

i got a really good grade and feedback on my last critique. i feel good about my work and excited about where it's going.

good day.

day ten

chillin' with jackie, drinking pomegranate italian soda

had a strange day today, though i finally got my bridge card situated. i now recieve 200$$ a month for food from the government. so to celebrate, and to center myself, i cooked cheese enchiladas verde. never made enchiladas before, but it was so easy and i love them. vegetarian, of course.

assembling

the filling is garlic cream cheese, topped with a mixture of shredded zuccini, cheese, and cilantro. then they're wrapped up and covered with salsa verde. delish.

finished product. yumm

day nine

me in katie's mask

went shooting with my friend katie today. she found this cool halloween front yard and asked the owners if we could shoot there.

we then ended up at this old abandoned building. it seemed like it might've been a church.


katie & her 4x5 camera


one of katie's shots i snapped from behind the 4x5

day eight

purple haze & sapporo

i actually did something interesting today. my roommate jackie and i ended up at world market ("retail therapy gone global!"), and we ended up bringing home a bunch of imported beers to try and some japanese candies that we know and love.

purple haze is a raspberry wheat beer. sounds amazing, but i was a little disappointed. i was thinbking it would be like sam adams' cherry wheat, but without the cherry. worth a try.

sapporo was surprisingly different; it has a more bitter aftertaste and kind of a funky smell, but actually is delicious.

i haven't tried the other kind we got yet.

monty python's holy grail ale
"tempered over burning witches!"

i also got apple hi-chew, which is texturally somewhere between a gummy candy, a taffy, and bubble gum. it's delicious, and the flavors are mouth-watering. i've also had red apple, grape, melon, and strawberry. yum.

and finally, meiji apollo. they taste a lot like strawberry pocky, but without the biscuit. and it's really cute.

apple hi-chew and apollo

what's better than culture and cuisine?

nothing, that's what.

day seven

grocery store sushi

wishes:

• i wish my hair was longer
• i wish i wasn't so poor so i could afford sweet clothes
  
• i wish the sun would come out
  
• i wish i had more time to spend on my photography work
  
• i wish i could see my boyfriend more often
• i wish i could eat sushi every day

day six

blake lively & leighton meester ala rolling stone

i'm almost caught up with watching gossip girl! i can't believe i ever watched the show, let alone got addicted to it. oh well.

my 'u' key sticks.

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

i'm so in love with my photography work right now.
sooo happy!

day five

moi, on a shoot this weekend

quote of the day:
"we should be too big to take offense and too noble to give it."
-abraham lincoln

had some extreme moments of inspiration yesterday. always an intense, amazing experience. needless to say, i'm so excited to get shooting this weekend. my professor encouraged me to first try some photographic experiments: shooting without looking through the viewfinder, and shooting self-portraits whilst blindfolded. don't know how that's going to go, but it sounds like fun. basically, i'll be reacting to a space without relying on my eyes.
more on that later.

i have THE most incredible boyfriend in the world. i was so happy that he came to visit me saturday and sunday. he surprised me and came two hours earlier than he told me he was going to, brought me a dozen roses, and continually swept me off my feet all weekend. he continually encourages me with my work, supports me in everything, and makes me smile whenever im upset. i am 100% head-over-heels in love.

day four

homework

first day of classes was yesterday and i've got homework already. bummer. not too bad though, just some reading for my world history class.

and just for fun, after poking around in the library for a while i finally found the photography section. i was like a kid in a candy store for about a half hour. i ended up with "photobooth," a compilation of old old photobooth pictures, "in/sights," self-portraits by women, and a huge book on the early years of edward steichen. i'm not too familiar with his work (hence the book) but i believe he used a collodial camera, which produces a beautiful, dreamlike image. i can't wait to read them.

lately i've been really smitten with my boyfriend. we've only been dating a month and change, but he's amazing. the cheese to my macaroni. the only problem is, he's four hours away now that i'm at school. absence makes the heart fonder? i can't stop thinking about him.

i wish i could write love songs.

day three

my friends' house, oak street

completely lethargic today. i slept in until 11 am, and didn't leave the apartment until 4pm. my roommate and i walked all the way to the student ghetto to our friends' house. we walked around in the mall for a while, and then came home. this whole day i've felt like i wasn't completely conscious. the weather was a little hazy today; maybe that's why. i'm sure sitting around for hours on end doesn't help.

classes start tomorrow. i think i'm looking forward to it, actually. to get back into what i'm hopefully going to be doing for the rest of my life. and really, i like being busy and having things to do.

in the meantime, my ass is getting sore from sitting on the couch so much.

day two

emerald isle, nc

today my family and i went to the ocean. it was balmy, salty, and the sand like baby powder. my favorite things about the ocean is the foam that salt water leaves in its wake, and - of course - the sound. i could listen to the ocean forever and never once stop being entranced by it. what's really fascinating is standing on the beach, looking out at the water, and realizing that morocco is on the other side. it's like standing at the edge of a deep, mysterious titanic-grave abyss.

hurricane danny has been stirring up the atlantic lately, and today the waves were massive and so powerful that they were quite scary at times. a two-foot remnant of one could knock you over, no problem. it makes me wonder how scary it would be to have a fifty foot wall of tsunami water coming towards you. i shudder just thinking about it.

i got a lot of sun, my hair and skin feel gross from the salt water, and i couldn't be happier.

day one

stand up straight: what my mother tells me constantly when i'm home; what i constantly try to remind myself to do.

i've always had bad posture, been disorganized, always late, always putting my foot in my mouth. but i look at the people in my life who have stuck it out with me and loved me just the same - family, friends, relationships - and i know that no matter how quirky and messy i am, i'm still okay. that there's something in me worth hanging around for.

this blog is about self, life, and what if.

enjoy.

c'est moi